Potty Training Advise

Our son first asked to go to the potty when he was just shy of his 2nd birthday. We were brushing our shoulders off like pimps in this parenting game. 

A year and a half later, we're feeling more like naive has-beens. If your kid is completely potty trained, congratulations and I secretly hate you. If not, grab some wine glasses, and I'll get the bottle. Let's talk. 

          Here are a few pointers to help along the way:

Because everyone's going to need a drink when this adventure begins...

 

Knowing that the bathroom is where you go to poop is a critical 1st step. The 2nd step is nailing where to poop in the bathroom.

 

Going to the bathroom with every single person every single time is the only way to watch and learn the technique.

 

Disposable diapers don't wash well. However, they do come out as versatile weapons afterwards.

 

Being naked all day means that they'll always go to the actual potty, and never in the floor, or on the rug, or the couch, or clean, folded clothes.

Underwear is a versatile fashion accessory.

 

Unsure of what size underwear your kid will need and don't want to drop their pants in the store to test the sizes? Just use their head! If it fits their unproportionately gigantic heads, it'll definitely fit their thunderous bums.

Awesome, expensive, organic cotton underwear is just enough to make you hose out those undies instead of throwing them away when disaster ensues. Saving our planet is what it's all about, people.

Wearing dad's boots, while naked, puts you that much closer to being a potty-trained man.

Make a game out of it! Try to pee between the rails!

Or just let the dog show them how it's done.

Buy lots of extra disposable diapers/pull-ups. Lots. Because no parent should feel bad for giving up and deciding their child can shit their pants forever. F the planet, too.

And always remember that protection is the key to prevention.

Happy potty training, my friends.