It's Just Meant to Be

And let me tell you why...

I'm not a person to see 'signs' or believe that things 'happen for a reason.' It's not denial of a greater plan, I just strongly believe in coincidence and cause and effect as logical reasoning. I also believe in karma. And not that 'what goes around comes around' crap. Please. Essentially, that's the gist, but it's a much deeper theory. It's about the energy we exert being the energy we are receptive to receive. It's not the world's revenge on people for treating others poorly.

Sometimes, horrific things happen to us. Sometimes, amazing things happen to us. And sometimes, just sometimes, horrific things can become amazing if we are self-aware enough to open our eyes.

How I became filled with a peace that I've never known in my entire life immediately after losing my daughter is something I will probably never fully understand. I don't question it; I just embrace it. She graced me with her short presence like an angel.

Lexi has been with us every step of the way, in subtle ways. For example: upon figuring a due date for a pregnancy, the first day of the last menstrual period is used. That day for us just so happened to be Lexi's due date, August 4, 2012. Making our son's due date May 11, 2013, the day before Mother's Day.

The morning Lexi was born, and we said goodbye, I was 21 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I will be 21w3d with our son on January 1, 2013. The new year. A new beginning.

Chills

When it comes to names, I thought it would be a good idea if Josh had the final say. It is his son, and I feel as though a man naming his son is an honor. He was back forth with lots of names. I threw a few out here and there. He finally started to write down our top contenders. This one name kept sticking in his head, though.

Luke.

Josh had contemplated naming his son after himself. His name is strong and biblical. He likes that. I like that. But he keeps going back to Luke. We are both eerily drawn to that name.

We have 2 rules in this name game: 

#1: It has to be simple and short, because his last name will be long and complicated as Hell. 

#2: It has to be strong and meaningful for us.

On Christmas morning, I got on Facebook to post our announcement picture. The very first thing that I see in my news feed is a quote from the book of Luke about the story of the birth of Christ. Oh the goose bumps. Regardless of what Josh's heart settles on for a name, the coincidence touched my soul.

Let me be the first to say that some things just can't be explained. By definition, these are indeed coincidences. But they have a deeper meaning for me. Regardless, it just feels so meant to be.